I got another question!

Hello my people!

*covers face in shame* I cant believe I haven't blogged in a month!! I am as surprised as you all are..wink! where do I even begin.... I got tagged in the elevens by Simply mee, Toinlicious, Amaka, BSNC, Sugar Spring, Efua Dentaa and a9jagreat, oh boy! I remember Toin told me I had about seventy something questions to answer! Can you believe that?!! well.... in due time, I will be giving what I have termed "my azonto seventy something answers" lol

I have got a question! Yes!!! I am back again with my questions!!! lol. An avid reader of my blog (as he called himself. lol) sent me a mail on something he said he wants to do and because he has read comments from great guys like you all and is pleased with most of the feedback's given, he will like to know your opinion on this issue. "Is polygamy a sin?" The following are the points he added, "What if the the man involved is head over heels in love with both ladies and they both accept to love him (and each other) and be loved by him (and each other)? Also, if it is not a sin and the scriptures do not forbid it, except (to the best of my knowledge) when a man desires to be a Bishop..., why do people frown at it and condemn the people in it? Further more, is it possible for marriages like that to succeed? And also, does the bible forbid it?"

I think this is quite a sensitive issue if you ask me because, sincerely, right from my childhood days till now, there has always been a "beef" about polygamy in the church and our work places yet, no one has really come out to say this or that is the reason why it is frowned upon. So my thought therefore is that,  even though it is "claimed" and argued, that there is so much competition in such homes which end up with fights, hatred and the rest, there are so many one man-one wife marriages which have much worse problems, which even end up in divorce.

I would like to recommend that we should say things higher than the obvious "why or what will make a woman want to share her man with another woman, and shouldn't she be afraid that this might make the man go in for yet another woman much later? Also, I would like us to avoid the competitive school of thought of "why would another woman want to share another person's "husband" when she can have her own?" Do all polygamous marriages fail? If you had a friend in it, what would your candid advice be? Is it wrong, is it a taboo, a risk or a sin? Can such a relationship work? Can a successful marriage and a successful family unit be achieved in that kind of environment? How will society see them? Is it not better than having a promiscuous, extra-marital affair?

Also I would also like for us to resist the urge of asking a question like what will even make a man desire to marry another wife besides his wife?  Could it be vanity or could there be an honourable reason? Can one find true love in such a place? (polygamous marriage/home). Okay, let me ask you my reader, in case you are faced with a situation where you find yourself in love with such a man whose wife has also accepted it as alright (or permissible) for the husband to marry another woman in addition to her would you agree to marry him, and why?

I have had this mail lying in my inbox for a while now, and didn't know where or how to go about it. I hope you all can help him make a very informed decision.

Thanks for reading and the comments in advance...

Before I forget, I have made some changes on the blog, do you like it? please let me know your thoughts on the changes as well ( I guess you guys will have a lot to answer) lol. I promise though that, I am answering all the questions that have been asked me in the elevens game, and will soon drop them in my next post.

Peace... I'm out!

A strong woman

Hello everybody!

My weekend wasn't bad at all, and I trust you all had a good time too. Yesterday, I got thinking... I was doing a lot of soul searching and I came out with this piece and for that matter, the title above. Hope you enjoy it.

A strong woman believes in herself, her dreams and her abilities. A strong woman believes that despite the setbacks, heartbreaks, disappointments and failings of her life, she's on a journey and that although she might break down along the way and cry her heart out, she will wipe the tears in her eyes and keep moving.

A strong woman believes that, until she gets to where she is going, she's not giving up on her dreams or giving in to her challenges, she is not throwing in the towels, she's not going to let the storms of life get her drowning, she will not stay in the durst, but rather, she will get up, shake it off and keep moving forward. 

A strong woman believes that, until she gets what she has set out to achieve, she's not letting go... Her zeal is consistently alive, her passion is resolute and her focus is one. You cannot distract a strong woman into dropping her pursuit when she believes she is on the right path. She has her pride to preserve, and she will never give up on a testimony worth telling. A strong woman knows the difference between bait and favour, and will never mistake the two no matter what she has to go through... And between love and the pleasure that endures only for a season, a strong woman will always choose love, even if it costs her everything she owns and stands for.

I believe I am a strong woman and I believe you all (my ladies on this platform) are too. So just in case you feel all is lost, remember God is with you and He will see you through it all; thick or thin. To all the strong women of blogville, I believe in you all and I know we will get there by God's grace.

In other matters, my blog turned a year old this April and I must admit that you all, and that includes my followers and everybody who has dropped any form of comment on this blog, have made my stay here very wonderful and worthwhile.

A family is not necessarily those whose blood you share, but those you love and also those who love you back. You! My blog friends are my family and I love you all as such. Thank you for loving me too. Best wishes, to you and yours.

Peace... I'm out!

Things that make you go Hmm!!!

Hi everyone! 

The weekend is finally here... Hurayyy! Okay, I got the story below from Joyfm's facebook page. After reading to the end, I couldn't help but get pissed at the players in the story. Please read on  (with small editing to help you relate more with the events discussed) and share your thoughts.

"Dear Bola, I went into marriage with a 4 year old daughter. My husband doesn’t have any problem with my daughter but he doesn’t love her. Let me just put it bluntly. He doesn’t have any form relations with her. He doesn’t care what I do with her or what happens to her. We simply don’t talk about her. I had her while I was in school and I honestly do not know the whereabouts of her father. I am gainfully employed so I really I’m not bothered. 

Growing up has been very difficult for her because she had to call my husband uncle because if he is daddy, then she must expect a lot from him. I have two other children with my husband so you can understand this little girl’s challenge. Bola, she is 16 years now and in SHS2. She is quite a smart and an intelligent girl. She told me recently that, she wants to move out of the house. She wants me to rent a place for her. Her reasons are that, she knows my husband doesn’t like her and she thinks she can take care of herself. This hit me so hard. 

She is always either out of the house or locked up in her bedroom. The relationship between she and her siblings is also dwindling. You could tell that she is very embittered. Last week, my husband came back from town with a bag full of clothes for my daughter. She took them and just walked away. I followed her into her room to scold her and she stopped me right there and walked out of the house. 

Fear gripped me so I asked my husband what all that was about and then he told me that, he just feels he has been very unfair to her and wanted to start bridging the gap. I could not but hug him in gratitude that finally, the nightmare in my home was over. He even told me that, she will come around and he apologized  to me for his unfair treatment towards the girl. Rather surprisingly, my daughter’s attitude worsened and she insists she wants to move out of the house. She won’t say why and I just kept assuming it’s the same old problem. I asked an anonymous person to meet up with her, befriend her and talk to her for me and there she blew everything open. 

My husband has been making sexual advances at her and has threatened to throw her out if she doesn’t compromise. He says he has never seen her as a daughter because he loves her and has just been waiting for her to grow up. Bola, I have died a thousand times over. How mean could he be? People have told me how they see him with young girls in very compromising situations but because he is a fashion designer, I dismiss it saying he could be working with them. I’m just realizing how naive I have been all these years. I have spoken to my daughter to keep calm whiles I find a solution to the problem. 

She understands me. This is my first point of call. I have too much running through my head. After 12 years of marriage... Bola I have my children to think about, my marriage, society, my daughter’s well being and a whole lot… I need advice. However, I am thinking of letting my daughter report him to the police... I would want the police to pick him up for interrogation, give him a strong warning and get him to write an undertaking to be of good behavior. Bola, in this day and age of defilement and rape, if he continues and he is arrested, this will spell doom for my family, social life and career".

What will be your advice to this lady? I said initially that I wasn't very enthused with lady's hastiness in  going ahead to marry the man without paying attention to the kind of relationship he would have or is prepared to have with her daughter. Being a single parent, man or woman, is a sensitive situation, and I think she shouldn't have gone ahead with the marriage in the first place knowing that, the then husband to be wasn't too comfortable with her daughter, until she was able to resolve the way forward for the 2 parties. This should go for every single parent about to get married. Watch out for danger signals which show that the person who you are getting married to is not too cool with your child, then please advice yourself appropriately.

In this case however, since she is already married to him with kids, I think the best thing for her to do is to talk to their pastor or a trusted person so they can talk to the man and make him accountable, or, let the daughter go stay with a trusted relative of her's; but she must make sure that, she stay's in constant touch with her all the time. What do you think?    

What could be wrong with Larry (the lady's husband)? Taking it beyond Erica’s story (the lady involved) I want to ask, what makes men desire young girls and even their children or relatives? What makes women want to sleep with young men, and little boys related to them and their friends? Why is Child Sexual Abuse becoming a rampant phenomenon in our society? Let's hear it dearies, as always...

Peace... I'm out!

Family is very important pt1

Hello wonderful people!

How you all doing? I trust each and everyone of us is doing very well by the abundant grace of God Almighty.

I have made a few observations about the importance of the family and I will like to share it right here. 

I remember when my mum died, we were all shattered, my siblings, myself and the entire family. Time they say heals all wounds. I believe that to some extent the eight years time frame has been able to help us heal.

I mean, I had to heal from bitterness, hatred and learn to forgive. My elder brother on the other had to learn to heal from the guilt he had always lived with thinking the accident that led to my mum's death could have been avoided had he been a little more careful. We might not always be friends but we must be family, everyone comes out of one and walks into experience from one everyday.

One thing is sure and that is, love can never be found where it does not exist and love can never be hidden where it abounds. The bible says.....two cannot walk together unless they agree (Amos3:3).  The bible also says that two are better than one but a three fold cord cannot be broken. Ecc4:12

Unity, is a wonderful thing. As far as the family is concerned, it is the strongest and most lethal weapon that God created. Even God recognizes that where there is unity, there is nothing that cannot be achieved. So let us all refuse to to be the reason why our families will break up; refuse to sit idle and watch your family disintegrate. Make up your mind, be an agent of love and unity in your family. Whether as a spouse, a parent, a child or a sibling. 

Be a battle axe in God's hand for the purpose of the unity of your family. No matter what happens, you must say We shall not break up! We shall not break down!! We shall break through!!! I have said concerning  mine. you should seriously say it concerning yours too... Amen

Peace... I'm out

What would you advice?

Hello people,

I stumbled into a new blog and read a story that got me thinking. Unfortunately, I could not follow the blog and I have forgotten the link, so I cannot bring it on here or refer to it. But he story as far as I can remember goes like this...

A couple before they finally got married were dating for a while and during those times of dating, the lady had three abortions and was even warned by a doctor not to try another one as anything of that sort was going to result in childlessness in the future because her womb had become weak.

Now it so happened that on the night after her wedding, she was raped by armed robbers right in front of the husband and after the heartless act, they stole from the couple as well. As a result of that incident, the man could not bring himself to having any form of physical contact with his wife.

It so happened that, the lady got pregnant because of the rape and the husband wants her to abort the  pregnancy or consider the marriage dissolved. The wife on the other end is scared of becoming childless if she dares the abortion and yet, is also afraid of loosing her husband (serious delima if you ask me).

She is confused and needs an advice. The husband on the other hand, is equally in a hard place because he does not want to have anything to do with a baby he terms a "bastard" and a reminder of a painful past.

What would you advice in such a situation? Should the man try to forget about the rape incident and just let it go for the safety of the lady and because of the love he has for her? Should the lady on the other hand, throw caution to the wind and get "rid" of the pregnancy in order to sustain her marriage? Or should she  keep the pregnancy at the risk of divorcing her husband and also keep hope alive since no one knows tomorrow?

What if she goes ahead to abort the baby and the husband  still goes ahead to divorce her anyways with the excuse that, because another man (an armed robber for that matter) has slept with her, he can't continue in the marriage?

Well I suggested that, although it is a difficult situation and a sensitive one for that matter, the husband should try and let it go for the sake of his wife's health and also for the sake of  the love  they share ( that is if he still loves her and is ready to fight with her). Should divorce even be an option in this circumstance (Pastors, counselors and anyone knowledgeable in this area, this question is for you)?

Pheeeeeeeew.... This armed robbers sef! May God help and protect us all from their hands. May they never see us even when they are close, Amen

Peace... I'm out!

Is it Possible? Could it ever happen?

Hi everyone!

I am super excited this morning the reason being that, I have been believing God for something and I got it today! A miracle I would call it!!! I am so grateful to God.

Well, there was an interesting topic that was discussed yesterday during my Media Law and Ethics class. I think it is a controversial subject so I thought of bringing it on here so we continue the discussion right from here...

Law is as dynamic as society. There used to be a time when rape was established by the actual act of penetration and the examination of the alleged victim to see if there are bruises... (I talk am as I understand o!). Now, rape is defined as a situation where a man has carnal knowledge of a woman without her consent.

This discussion on rape, stirred up a controversy when as all encompassing  as it sounded, it almost exposed the status of the welfare of marriages; as the men and the women in my class became divided on a particular question judging "on the surface" from this new definition.

The question was "Can a man rape his wife?" Really... Can a man rape his own wife? Sounds weird, right? Almost all the ladies (including myself) said yes, whilst the men argued that its not possible because they paid the bride price of the woman and so for that matter own her body.

Which of the view points or schools of thought do you agree with?

This is a serious matter o! How should it be? Were the women taking it too far, or do you think the men were being selfish and insensitive? I am open to learn your thoughts on this issue, and I promise I will share it with my colleagues and lecturer next week. Thanks a lot. *Wink*

Peace... I'm out.

   

 

In all things...

Hello there!

How is everyone doing? I read what I am about to share with you now in my devotional book. I loved it to bits and so I thought about you and decided to share. Please read and do not hesitate to share your thoughts.

I asked God for strength that I might achieve.

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey....

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things

I asked for riches, that I might be happy 

I was given poverty, that I might be wise

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy all things 

I got nothing I asked for... but everything I had hoped for.

Even when our prayers are not answered in the way we plan or expect, God is always up to something.  He knows the end from the beginning and does what He knows is best for us at the end. Let's hold on and not loose faith. 

Thanks for all the wonderful comments on my last post. And as for you! toinlicious, you are in trouble with me o! For calling my gele that I suffered to tie, a bag lol. 

Before I sign out, I need help on something, I am unable to follow new blogs I have discovered. Goggle is playing tricks on me. When I click on the follow button I get funny options that do not allow me to follow the blogs. I need HELP fast. Thanks.

Peace... I'm out

Sometimes...

Hello Everyone!

Been a while since I posted any kind of pictures on my blog so today, I have decided to do just that! the title of this post is due to some of the things I do in front of the camera. Enjoy...

Sometimes, I tie gele to see how my face looks like..... what do you think?

Sometimes... When people are dancing azonto (which happens to be the new craze in the Ghanaian society when it comes to dancing) I just watch and take photo shots of them.

Sometimes too... when I got nothing much to do, I just smile and pose in front of the camera.

Other times... I love to watch my son take a picture with Santa Claus!

Oh! did I tell you I love to hang out? Yea... Sometimes that is what I do. hanging out with friends.

And finally... Sometimes, I love to share my cute smile with the camera and you!.

 

Hope you had fun watching the pictures. There's nothing much going on with me now, other than work, home and now back to school.

I am looking forward to a lot of exciting stuff ahead for me, my life and everything that concerns me; so far as God is still God, I know I am not alone. 

Best wishes dearies...

Peace... I'm out!