Silent Nights... A Cry For Help

Greetings Blogsville,

Here is a short fiction I wrote. I perceive that it could be someone's story. We have allowed Pedophiles (gay and straight) to thrive; we have allowed them sexually abuse little boys and girls (especially little girls). I pray that this piece, dedicated to the "nameless and faceless" beauties whose innocence has been stolen (either violently or through deception) , awakens us (again!!!) to the evil going on around us, and gives us the courage to speak up and speak out.

Warning: Stop feeling like this matter doesn't concern you. It could happen to your own child, your nephew or your niece. Your son or daughter could be married to someone who bears a scar and carries a trauma this heart wrenching. That's how interwoven we are... what affects one of us, affects all of us (at least, we are all old enough to appreciate how true this is). And if you are a pedophile (gay or straight) and you are reading this, know that the eyes of God are on you... And trust me, it is not for blessings. Only repentance can save you now.

To everyone - Read, enjoy (if you can) and leave your comments. Thanks:

OMG! Don't let him come again this night! Please God... Please! Not tonight again. This has been my prayer every night for the past two years of my very short life. I used to say that I know there is a God... Now, I am not that confident about this, but the stories of the people around me makes me want to say "I hear there is a God"... But what did I do wrong? Did I or have I wronged Him in any way? If I have, is it worse than what the others have done? How much sin could I have committed at 14? Why doesn't God hear me? Why doesn't He answer?

I was just 12 years old at that time... A very easy going girl who had it all: A home I call my own, and a beautiful family that loved and pampered me in every way. Then one day, everything changed. I did something bad at home... Yes I did. I went out with my friends and got so carried away in the excitement of our outing that I lost track of the time. I got home very late that day and my mum had left a threat that she was going to beat me up later in the evening on her return from church. 

I had been punished at home before, but knowing that she already found out that the girls I went out with were the kind of friends she warned me not to keep and the frustrations she was having to deal with since my daddy ran off with his secretary, I was too scared and confused. So I ran away from home. Alas... None of my "so called" friends would take me in, as they all didn't want their secrets exposed at my instance... 

I had no where to go. I knew no where to go, and as the dark night got thicker and colder, I felt so alone... I was just there on the streets, desperately wishing I was home and thinking of how to go back home and plead with mummy to forgive me; still too scared of the beating, and trying to braze myself up for it (it was definitely better than sleeping on the streets)... then he came along... The bastard... The God forsaken beast of a man, and announced his name as Sam. He said he would help me... 

He said he would make out time from his busy schedule (most likely by that weekend) to take me home and plead with my mum on my behalf. He said the streets was not a place for a young girl like me and I couldn't agree more... I mean... I didn't belong there and anything out of this mess to a safe place was good enough. He was nice... very nice. He reminded me of my dad before he got bewitched, and I thought to myself "this is definitely a man I could grow to call dad, just in case my daddy never returns". I imagined how lovely his home would be and how well he treated his wife and kids, not knowing or asking whether or not he was even married. How could I have even cared? I wanted to be out of the cold, and I wanted a warm place of comfort. He was nice to me. If only I knew, that beneath all that charm...

After making me feel comfortable at his place for a few days; helping me to forget the sorrows of my mistake and always promising to take me back home to my family, the worst happened one night as I lay in bed in the room I had come to know as mine.

Uncle Sam as I used to call him came into my room and forcefully slept with me... He raped me! It was more than the word "painful"... I cried all through the night. After that night, it become something he did every other day. He wouldn't let me out of the room or out of his sight. I ate and did everything in my room. And when he is going out, he would lock me up, and threaten that if I tried to escape, he will find me and kill me "like a pig". He would then laugh so wickedly and say "even if you tried to escape, you will not be able to..."

Oh God... I hear You are real... I hear You are good... If You are real, then I know You are out there somewhere... Please help me because today (this noon) is the day that I started menstruating. I have heard about it so many times, I have seen my sisters go through it and my mom has also told me about it before. My abdomen hurts really bad and the years of isolation has made me loose touch of the things going on around me. Is my mummy looking for me? Do my sisters and my baby brother miss me? My daddy! Has my daddy heard that I'm missing? My school... Is no one thinking about me? Is no one looking for me? God won't you send someone to save me?!!!

God please... God please... God please... I thought You sent uncle Sam to help me by taking me to plead with my mum to forgive me. But look... See what I have become. I am bleeding and I don't know what to do. There is no one to teach me. I am in so much pain, waiting for my defilement in installments to take another bite at my innocence. He offered me all the good things money can buy:  dresses, shoes, and other things which I couldn't wait to show off when I get home. Now I don't even feel deserving enough to wear those dresses and shoes, because they all look better than I do... I don't even feel beautiful anymore.

God... Please... Help me...

To be continued...

Peace... I'm out!