Monday, 17 October 2011

Is It A Taboo??

Hello Everyone!!!

So school has started and the hustle begins for me again, i.e, the pattern of closing from work and continuing to school resumes. In as much as I have missed most of my friends and mates at school, sitting in the warm classroom for hours gets on my nerves sometimes (I know someone might be saying right now "really?! Who told you to go to school and who will benefit from your graduation?! Just shut up and go to school!!! Just leave me to express myself o!!!)

Let me be kind enough to my school here, by telling you a little about it. You see, my school happens to be one of the best communication ( if not the over all best) schools in the country and it is affiliated to the nation's premier university (The University of Ghana, Legon). 

The school can boast of competent lectures and good faculties as well as air conditioned lecture halls (even though the air conditions do not really get to work properly most times). But trust me on this one people! Its one of the best. This is where I hope one of the school authorities get to read this post and see the good service I am rendering them, so they can tell Hon. Kojo Yankah (President of the school)  to reduce my fees or even give me the privilege of paying no fees at all (if only wishes were horses... who send me work?lol) But come to think of it, is this not a strategic form of marketing I am undertaking here..? lol.

Anyway, the reason for the question asked above (title of the post) has become very necessary because I have an aunty who is going through some unfortunate situation in her life presently, so I asked her to go seek help from the church where she fellowships and now, I have become the bad person in her eyes.

The thing is, she fellowships with one of the 'Big' churches here in the capital and she is a very active member too, as well as a church worker. But unfortunately for her, she's been having issues with her husband and they have come to the point where the only option left for her is divorce.  As a result of this development, she has to look for her own accommodation amongst other things. Not knowing how or which other way to help her out as I also have my own issues (sort of) to take care of, I asked her to go see her pastor and talk to him about it.

This is the side of the story my aunty doesn't understand, her reason being that of all options, why do I have to suggest a place like the church for her (why not the church..?). According to her, the church too has issues to manage and to that extent, it will be very unfair on her part to add up her own problems to the issues the church is already managing.

So then I ask! Are the churches not there to help us in times like this when there is a need? (i.e if they are in the position to?). Also was I wrong in asking her to go talk to her pastor about her issues and ask for help? (considering the fact that she is a church worker?). And also, at what point should devoted church members seek help from their various places of worship?

Please help me by answering some of the questions so my heart and mind can be at peace since my aunty is making me feel guilty of committing a taboo or something unthinkable. Thank you for reading.

Peace... I'm out.


  1. I just passed the "Versatile Blogger" award on to you. Congratulations! Please check my blog ( for more details. Cheers!

  2. Hello big sis, Ur piece is very touching, but to me I believe she should prayerfully think through the issue very well even before speaking to the pastor. Being in the church for a long time, I believe she is the best person to tell how far she can go in confiding in her pastor. Marital issues need to be handled with all deligence. One thing I have encouraged myself with is that the devil is always against any institution that God has ordained. Marriage being one of such institutions is always under attack. Many a time, issues happen in marriage and we think the only way out is divorce, this is a deception from the devil. What ever is happening, if it is disastrous, a separation will do for now whilst she continues to pray to God when she is alone. Remember when some of Jesus's disciples complained they could not cast out a demon, Jesus told them some things cannot be done but by prayer and fasting. There are testimonies of women who went through hell in their marriage, but their prayer brought back the joy.
    My comment may appear long, but let me tell you something, on my wedding day, I was given a wall frame by the proprietress of a school I worked with after secondary school which was titled 'Don't Quit', this has being my source of inspiration whenever the going gets tough.
    As to telling the church, I will advice she does it very tactfully, cos some of our so-called brothers and sisters and pastors in the Lord are better off DJs in the radio stations.


  3. Well,i think your aunty is actually fighting with her ego here.Really,in lots of cases people fall back on the church they belong to and most times get help from the church.

  4. I was trying really hard not to laugh at "some of our so-called brothers and sisters and pastors in the Lord are better off DJs in the radio stations." but i couldn't help it. Its so true.

    And in that regard, i understand some people's apprehension with bringing their issues to their church home. But in your aunty's case, i agree. The church, in my opinion at least, is supposed to be there for you in your time of trouble. But if she doesn't see it that way, then what can you do. All the best to her and her situation though.

  5. Uhm, I am trying to see with her eyes as to why she doesnt want to meet with the pastor but I am drawing a blank. Unless she has some other options, I strongly encourage her to start from there.

  6. I have the feeling your auntie has been exposed to more in the church, than the average "big church" member. She knows the leaders a little better than the average member.
    I would encourage her to trust her instincts regarding those she chooses to discuss her issues with.
    Me, I wouldnt touch "big" church leaders with a 20ft pole. Especially when they dress up fancier than the average church member.

  7. I think i understand why she doesnt want to see the pastor. some people do not really want ppl to know their so perfect families are in trouble but thats still the best thing she can do

  8. @The Relentless Builder, I appreciate the award, thanks so much.

    @Docia,"some of our so-called brothers/sisters and pastors in the Lord are better off DJs in the radio stations." but its so true my dear, thanks for the comments.

    @A-9ja-Great,you see! thats why I asked her to seek help from the church. thanks for the comments

  9. @LadyNgo, thanks for your comments and the best wishes.

    @HoneyDame, thanks for your comments, will keep hoping she changes her mind or otherwise.

    @Think-About-It, "Me, I wouldnt touch "big" church leaders with a 20ft pole. Especially when they dress up fancier than the average church member" lol, thanks for you comments.

  10. I think people come too essy to the conclusion to end up a marriage when things are going wrong.
    If couples give more time and freedom to each other, life will be better.
    Your aunt must ask the Lord for a direction and then need to argue in detail about her relationship with her husband and wait for the outcome.Sometimes it is good to make a step backwards with the intention to make a big step forward.I hope it helps.

  11. @Luciano thanks for the comments, and yeah that could also be a reason.

    @Humyborari, thanks for stopping by, i appreciate it and thank you for the comments also.