Hello people,
I stumbled into a new blog and read a story that got me thinking. Unfortunately, I could not follow the blog and I have forgotten the link, so I cannot bring it on here or refer to it. But he story as far as I can remember goes like this...
I stumbled into a new blog and read a story that got me thinking. Unfortunately, I could not follow the blog and I have forgotten the link, so I cannot bring it on here or refer to it. But he story as far as I can remember goes like this...
A couple before they finally got married were dating for a while and during those times of dating, the lady had three abortions and was even warned by a doctor not to try another one as anything of that sort was going to result in childlessness in the future because her womb had become weak.
Now it so happened that on the night after her wedding, she was raped by armed robbers right in front of the husband and after the heartless act, they stole from the couple as well. As a result of that incident, the man could not bring himself to having any form of physical contact with his wife.
It so happened that, the lady got pregnant because of the rape and the husband wants her to abort the pregnancy or consider the marriage dissolved. The wife on the other end is scared of becoming childless if she dares the abortion and yet, is also afraid of loosing her husband (serious delima if you ask me).
She is confused and needs an advice. The husband on the other hand, is equally in a hard place because he does not want to have anything to do with a baby he terms a "bastard" and a reminder of a painful past.
What would you advice in such a situation? Should the man try to forget about the rape incident and just let it go for the safety of the lady and because of the love he has for her? Should the lady on the other hand, throw caution to the wind and get "rid" of the pregnancy in order to sustain her marriage? Or should she keep the pregnancy at the risk of divorcing her husband and also keep hope alive since no one knows tomorrow?
What if she goes ahead to abort the baby and the husband still goes ahead to divorce her anyways with the excuse that, because another man (an armed robber for that matter) has slept with her, he can't continue in the marriage?
Well I suggested that, although it is a difficult situation and a sensitive one for that matter, the husband should try and let it go for the sake of his wife's health and also for the sake of the love they share ( that is if he still loves her and is ready to fight with her). Should divorce even be an option in this circumstance (Pastors, counselors and anyone knowledgeable in this area, this question is for you)?
Pheeeeeeeew.... This armed robbers sef! May God help and protect us all from their hands. May they never see us even when they are close, Amen
Pheeeeeeeew.... This armed robbers sef! May God help and protect us all from their hands. May they never see us even when they are close, Amen
Peace... I'm out!
Ah. Priscy. I think I am with you on this one. The woman should keep the baby and not even risk the abortion because if she aborts it and then is never able to have a child nd the man still proceeds with the divorce then she will be mad at herself for life. Better safe than sorry.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to consider her decisions well and in totality too. Yes, she wants to have a child, but does she really want to have a child for an armed robber or armed robbers as the case may be? She should ultimately make a decision she will be able to live with for the rest of her life. If she decides to keep the pregnancy and her husband leaves, will she be happier than if she decides to take it out and the husband still leaves regardless?
ReplyDeleteWhatever faith system she has, she should revert to. I have heard of situations where nature just help them solve the dilemma...one way or the other.
But I know if it were me, I would lean more towards the abortion than keeping, not necessarily because my husband says so but because that child will likely be a constant reminder of grief and humiliation to me
I agree with you dear.
DeleteI agree with Honeydame too. It's a difficult choice but she'll have to decide on what she can live with for the rest of her life.
DeleteI read that too. And in any event, the man has pretty much said he's leaving her regardles of what happens so at this point it doesn't even make sense to factor him into the decision-making process. To be honest, i wouldn't even want to continue to be married to a man that has so little regard for me anyway.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if they have seen an OB/GYN about verifying who's baby it could be, by comparing timeline of last sexual intercourse with spouse and that unfortunate incident.
ReplyDeleteWhat if she removes the pregnancy, then damages her womb even further preventing her from having another child? Are you telling me that the man (as heartless as he sounds already) will still stay with her even though she can't give him kids? Of course he won't! It's a lose-lose situation because she will not be able to have kids AND she would have lost her marriage. She might as well keep the baby and if the man truly loves her (which I doubt), he will stay, if not it's bye-bye to bad rubbish!
ReplyDeletena wa! don't even know where to start...dicey one.
ReplyDeleteOne thing is clear,THE MAN WOULD LEAVE HER, REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING SHE DOES!
She should evacuate it! Because it would be a constant remainder to her, and when the child grows up and ask for his/ her father nko? Even if she lies, the child would find out some day, and GOD knows what would happen!
OR
She gives birth, and give the baby out for adoption?
sighs! just don't know.....
the story reminds me of one movie that was showing at the cinemas at nigeria and the storyline is so much alike..never watchd it though but i heard it ended well, my own opinion is no abortion. if the man insists, she can give the baby out for adoption
ReplyDeletethe truth is this...no man deserves woman aborting anything for him because she ends up bearing the guilt, brunt and shame of everything. it might be good today but what about tomorrow. what does her future hold for her if she's giving heed to a mortal man who can decide anyday and anytime to divorce her or change his mind. men are very unpredictable and so the best she can do is hold on to God and ask for mercy
what if she dies??/
the fact that she has aborted three times does not mean she might survive the current one and most definitely, the man will move on if she passes away due to the abortion
the best thing she can do is ask for mercy concerning the past abortions and put her foot down that as for herself and the baby, there's no abortion..full stop!!!
I also go with the no abortion part. Hmmm...na wa o...
ReplyDeleteDoes this man love her at all? Or is he just considering the shame he has to endure? Abegi jooo, when did two wrongs make a right?
ReplyDeleteShe shouldn't abort and if the man doesn't like it, they can give the child out for adoption. There are people looking for fresh babies out there.
abi oo
DeleteI am with HoneyDame on this,she should consider her options critically.
ReplyDelete@Honeydame So could you then live with the fact that the child had been intentionally killed through abortion? Hmm, it's not as easy to forget as you might think. Who knows what that child might become tomorrow. I pray such never happens to any of us!
ReplyDeleteI pray it never happens to us too but IF it happened to me and IF I made the decision to terminate it, I think I would be able to live with the decision. Ironically,I don't think I would be able to live with bearing and birthing the child and then giving him/her up for adoption...*cringe*
DeleteI agree with Simply Mee. If she doesn't want the child, then she should give it up for adoption. Someone who actually places value on life will take care of the child rather than taking an innocent child's life. I wonder what anyone would expect God to think of someone who killed their unborn child. Sanctity of life is very important to God.
ReplyDeletetotally agree with jane. to humans, it might look like A PACK of cells but to God, it means a lot because it's already a soul, God takes note of murder. and so, if she doesn't want it, adoption...at least she doesn't have any blood in her hands.
Deleteafter all, its not a monster, its a child we're talking about here, an unborn child who might turn out to be someone you need in future..soo
Hmm! Tough one! Abortion is a sin, I know, however, I think il personally, remove the child! To give birth and give it up seems more ideal, but I doubt a part of me can be existing somewhere on earth and I won’t care. I can’t also have the baby and not think of the sheer horror of that day. So off it goes
ReplyDeleteThe hubs should get a grip of himself and support his wife in whatever decision she takes. Selfishness is a no no at this point
She should have the child and give it up for adoption...that is the best she can do. aborting could destroy her life forever, all in the name of trying to keep a man who might end up leaving her.
ReplyDeleteThat is a tough one mehn... but as a christian i don't believe in abortion... however.. does the man know about the other 3 abortions she has had... if he knows.. wey they for him? mehn.. this is a bit twisted I don't even know where to start..
ReplyDeletebut i guess lara's option miht be best have the child and give it up for abortion.. as for her husband divorcing her.. the husband need to realise as well that his wife went through the trauma of being raped and stop thinking about himself a lone.. as a husband he has meant to protect his wife. in that instance he couldn't which is fine, but he shouldnt make matters worse. they both need counselling and prayers... I am really hoping it is not a real life situation but if it is may God help them see the right way.
Have the child and give it up for adoption. There's no sane reason on earth for committing abortion.
ReplyDelete@Priscy, thanks for your comment on my blog. Love yours too. Don't forget to follow.