Friday 31 August 2012

Silent Nights... Home at Last!!!

Hello Lovely people,

This is the more to be continued at the end of the write up, lol. Thanks for sticking and staying with me throughout this story, enjoy...

"Ok... So Lord what next?" A simple trusting prayer I uttered with my eyes closed and a fulfilling smile on my face. Trusting, because here I was, a victim of a deceptive and wicked enslavement just a few hours ago; and suddenly, like a dream, I am on the street, not in chains and not looking over my shoulder. Uncle Sam was way behind me, and only a fool would come out of a situation as mine the way I did, and not trust the same power to help her find her way home.

That's all I wanted... To be home with my mum and my siblings. I was anxious. Anxious, not because I was walking down the streets in the middle of nowhere. I was anxious because as I walked down, I wondered what my home was like now. Two terrible devastations in one year - Daddy (My main man!... That's what I called him) walked out on his family (like a spell bound emissary with a death wish) with his secretary; then I was snatched away from my home, not by Uncle Sam, but by my choice of friends and my fear of the rod of discipline. Don't get me wrong. I am not wallowing in anything… I just imagine what the worst could have been, had I not run away from home. There was love at home, and I wonder why I couldn't trust that love to help me go through mummy's frustrations. I have experienced so much in this short life. That was all I could think about... Then I was scared and hoped to God that mummy didn't suffer a stroke out of heartbreak. I can't possibly go through all these for nothing. A little peace, a little respite for my mum. I knew she would be happy to see me. I just knew it... This gave me courage... It gave me strength.

Daddy always said to us, that if any of us ever got stranded anywhere... Anywhere at all; we should just take a taxi and tell them the name of the area, he will pay when we get home. So I did just that. I stopped a taxi. It was a fairly new cab, driven by a man that must have been in his mid twenties. He smiled at me and said "fine gal... (then he winked and said) where you de go?" I pulled back and said to him "Not on your miserable life Sam!" Then I moved forward towards a taxi packed by the pedestrian lane. It wasn't a busy street, but I wasn't so sure where I was. I bent down to speak to the driver through the window on the front passenger seat, but before I could speak, the man looked at me with a strange excitement on his face, then he said "Teasha pikin! (as in Teacher's daughter) U loss cheee, everybody make wild look for u everywhere (as in you have been missing for so long and everyone is frantically looking for you). What u de do for here? (as in, what are you doing here?)" I was still trying to figure out why he was acting so happy when I looked closely and saw... No it can't be! Oga Digor, Our school bus driver. That was when my first teardrop of joy fell from my face. I just opened the car and hugged him... I just kept crying... I cried so much that he started crying too... Then he said, "make u no cry again. I take you go house you hear? (as in, don't cry anymore, I will take you home ok?)"

We drove for over an hour... Meaning I was taken away to the outskirt of town. But the journey was even longer for me, because I could not wait to get home. Then finally, I was in familiar territory. I was seeing places I am used to. Digore just stopped. Then he said "Teasha pikin, we reach house (as in, teacher's daughter, we are home)". My legs were too heavy to come down, out of the anxiety of not knowing what to expect. But this is home! So I jumped down and dashed for the gate. I was shaking it so vehemently and for some reason I just kept shouting daddy!!!

And there he appeared from the backyard. My father... he is back! I am back!! "Daddy!!!" I shouted. Now the tears were rolling down like a waterfall. And he couldn't believe it. He called my name... He yelled my name. He made for the gate, stopped half way and ran back towards the front door of the house... Then I heard him shouting "she's here! Emelia is here!". I was still at the gate. I was crying and laughing all at the same time, Then my siblings started rushing out of the house one, two, three (I had to count to make sure everything was intact)... But there was one person who hasn't made the roll call... My daddy was at the gate and before I knew it, everyone was all over me... We were all over one another. My disappearance had brought dad back home, but where is mum? Before I could dwell on the distraction, I heard Digor shout "Teasha, ur pikin is back o! (as in, Teacher, your daughter is back)" My mum... I couldn't hold back, I ran towards her, and she towards me... the faster I ran, the farther away she seemed to be. The next thing, we were both rolling on the floor.
Then we were all inside the house... I told my story, at least as much as I could tell for the time being. All the sorries were said. The good side to my sad experience is the fact that my parents got back together again.

Hmm... So God was listening all these while? Well... My silent nights are over. Weeping may endure for the night, but joy does come in the morning. Hello morning! Hello sunshine! Hello family!!! Speak of miracles…

Peace… I’m out

Monday 27 August 2012

Silent Nights... The Final Frontier

My people,

Am here again. The story continues... if you missed the first two parts, please check here  and here read, and as usual, let me know what you think. Thanks!

...I had made up my mind. I will go back down memory lane, and pick from my past that which will help me stand in my present. I have gone through three very devastating stages in my short life: I had come face to face with the treachery and deep deception of people; then I was defiled in installments by a man I thought I could one day grow up to call my father; then I have encountered the inner strength of a woman... I have experienced first hand how dangerous a woman can be, how weak men can be and what a woman of easy virtue (whether by choice or by default) can do to a man whose life revolves around the lap of a woman. My father thought me never to allow myself live beneath my worth... Never to use my point of strength as an advantage against the weak... Yes I have a father, better than any man I can remember. He left home and I still wonder why, but I am certain he is far more a man than Uncle Sam.

I had made up my mind. I was in bondage, yet I must be free. I must free myself. And for the first time since this experience began, thinking about my home gave me strength. I remembered the things my siblings and I were taught. I will be free even in this dungeon... The more I thought about it, the more a different kind of power surged into me, and the more I rose higher than the four walls where my tormentor had put me.

I remembered what my father used to say, that the power of a threat lies in the fact that it is faceless and nameless, dispensing from an unknown location; and when these three are known, threat becomes weak and powerless. Every time my father said this, he would sing the lines of a hymn that was like our family anthem... "Whatever my Lord, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well; It is well with my soul". Then as a family, we would all sing the chorus "It is well... It is well. With my soul... With my soul. It is well, it is well... With my soul"

For the first time in a time longer than I can remember, I felt a smile on my face, then I felt that surge again, and this time, it gave strength to my voice... and I heard myself singing that song. Tears ran down my eyes again, but this time they were tears of joy. I had just declared my freedom. Yes!!! No matter how the future days unfold, I had made up my mind to be free. And one day... Yes one day, I will be out of here and be far away from men like Uncle Sam. Yes I will. But for now, no matter what he decided to do with my body, I will be free. I will not kill him and I will not be less than what my parents brought me up to be. It is well with my soul.

Just as I was still smiling and basking in the joy of my new found freedom, I heard that sound which always announced the presence of my defilement in installments. The door... The door opened, but unlike before, I didn't shiver, I didn't shake, I didn't cry, and I didn't beg... I just kept singing. And while I sang, I started undressing. When I finished undressing, I went and lay down... Then I said "uncle Sam, I'm here. I'm ready. I'm waiting for you. Come... do your worst" Then I continued singing, only this time, I sang a little louder. The more I sang, the more powerful I felt and the more liberated I saw myself becoming.

Uncle Sam was scared! I didn't have to look at him to know. The fear that exuded from him, was so thick you could cut it with a knife. He was too scared to come close to me. He just shouted at me to shut my mouth up and stop the singing. The more he shouted, the more I sang in calm confidence and the more afraid he became. The next thing I knew, he dashed out of the room like he had seen hell, forgetting to even lock the door of my prison. The prison gates are now open, yet I lay down there as if I didn't care. I was already free! and I wasn't going to let any form of anxiety keep me down. Not anymore! Now this is power!!! Everything I heard about God is true. It had to be God.

After a while (I'm not sure how long) I got up from the bed. I got dressed, then I looked around that room like one taking a last look at a place to which she will never return, then I did something I couldn't have done in the last 2 years... I headed for the open door. From the passage, I could see the light of dawn, and so I just followed it, all the way to the living room where I first sat as a stranger to Uncle Sam's house. Again I looked around... And I was feeling stronger. Uncle Sam was no where to be found. I headed for the door, and just like a dream, the door was open; and the fresh morning breeze hit me. 

I inhaled and breath the fresh air of freedom. I now believe in miracles... I now believe in God and the power of prayer.

To be continued...

An amazing twist wouldn't you say? Don't miss the final part of this story. I'm sure you would like to know how this whole saga will end.

Peace... I'm out!

Monday 20 August 2012

May True Love Find You...

My people,

I trust you all had a great weekend as I did. Barka Da Sala to all my Muslim friends and, happy belated birthday to blogsville's twins Toin and Didi, may the good Lord guide and protect you all the days of your lives! 

OK... You guys know that I am not given to uploading videos. But after watching this one, I thought to myself, that there is no better prayer I should make for "us" at this moment than this.

Sincerely, true love is out there... Scarce or not, I leave the philosophers to argue, but I know that true love is out there. And I pray that it finds each and everyone of us. When true love finds you, it will not only "not let you go", it will do all it can and should "to keep you safe and confident, that you will never walk alone and that you will always be loved"

Above all, may God be our greatest anchor, and when He gives us the privilege of experiencing true love... May we never take it for granted, may we never toy with it, and may we never let it go.

Peace... I'm out!

Tuesday 14 August 2012

Silent Nights... A Cry For Help pt2

Greetings my people,

Remember Silent Nights... A cry for help? I thought it was time for the second part. Your thoughts will be most appreciated: 

...Please God, not tonight!... consumed by my own thought and what sounded like a prayer to me to the God I have heard so much about even in Sunday school, the door opened and there he was standing all charged up again for another rendezvous. This is it! I have had it! I must either plead with him for mercy because of the menstrual pain or put up some form of resistance.

"Uncle Sam, please not tonight, I am bleeding and besides I am having pains all over, please look with pity on me and let me off this routine tonight p-l-e-a-s-e..." He looked at me with an evil grin and asked "so what do you want me to do?" as I continued to beg, he brought out what I have come to know and call the "devil's stick" and he said "PLAY WITH IT" Anything was better than having him inside of me again (at least not with the way I was feeling). He showed and told me what to do as he closed his evil eyes moaning at every move I made and enjoying himself. And for the first time I felt powerful... Yes! I felt that strong sensation run through my body, that I could survive this. His behavior showed that I had some kind of control. I felt his vulnerability. I felt I had something I could bargain with. I felt that I had what it takes to destroy him, but I knew that I could only succeed if  I had a plan. I wasn't that smart, I had only discovered an ace which I could use to my benefit. I needed to perfect whatever I had discovered that evening.

For the five(5) days that I was bleeding, my hands and mouth were his abode and source of grand pleasure. I had to do that everyday in tears, hating what I had become, and the power that deluges through my heart anytime he was at my mercy... at my mercy, that's what it looked like. Yet I felt like a slot. I never believed that I could think like this. I never imagined that in my entire life, I could find myself in a situation where I had a death wish, whether for myself or for any other person.

The more I thought about my new ace, the more I thought about my home. This is not how I was brought up to think. I felt dirty... Really dirty. I wasn't sure anymore which was worse. The pain of my defilement or the power of having the life of a villain in my hands, and wishing I could take my chances. I am a good girl, and I can't believe I was considering this. And in a flash, I remembered how in those days (God! It's been two years) when I would say to mum that I don't understand how any woman would agree to prostitution or to commit a crime, because as far as I was concerned, it was beneath any right thinking woman no matter the circumstance she finds herself. And here I was, faced with a side of reality which I never knew existed.

My heart bleeds... I miss my mum, I miss my siblings, I miss my home and most of all, my freedom and my old shy self! I want to pray... I wish I could pray, but I can't find the words. I want to take my fate into my own hands. But what would that fate make me? What will I become after this experience. Nothing in my past could have prepared me for this.

I wish my daddy didn't leave... I wish my mum didn't have to be so frustrated... I wish I didn't run away... I wish I could wake up from this dream... I wish I could throw caution to the winds, and do something very drastic to him... I wish I could bite him so hard that he passes out till I'm gone... I wish there is a way I could do and never remember that I did such a dirty desperate thing... I wish there was another way... I wish I could turn back the hands of time... O Lord... I wish...

To be continued...

Peace... I'm out

Tuesday 7 August 2012

WE GIVE THANKS... In All Things

This is Tuesday, exactly two weeks after the demise of our President, President John Evans Atta Mills. Every Tuesday since the exact Tuesday he died, the weather looks misty and a bit cloudy, with a chilly notice that tells you something is going on somewhere in the realms. The sign of the loss is everywhere, and the serenity, which has come upon Ghana since then, is strange, but quite soothing…

This soothing calm was however almost stolen from me this morning, when a careless bus driver ran into my car from the driver’s side. It was not a mistake; it was the result of a calculated recklessness… He ought to have looked, but he just kept coming. I have a soft spot for people who make innocent mistakes and are genuinely remorseful, and situations like this, since they do not fit into that category, gets me running my mouth, and throwing my fists, and kicking backsides with my long black-belt legs (looking for a reason to laugh). But for some reason, I am calm, and I am wondering, could it be as a result of the serenity in the season?

If you remember in my post Mom’s last laugh, I shared with us, that there is always a good side to every bad story. Well, sometimes we don’t know how closely the things we talk about relate to and apply to us. But here I am, wondering what could have happened, if that bus driver was reversing faster than he was… He would not have merely dented my car, but he would have taken a part of my flesh or my bone with it. Here I am alive, well, hale and hearty, not having too many reasons to smile this morning, but having every reason to be thankful… Thankful that God was standing by and making sure that the plans of the enemy of my soul did not exert upon me.

And when I came out of the car, I was calm. Meeeeeeeeehn!!! I shocked myself, and I was like girlfriend, you deserve an award, ‘cause you have outdone yourself this time.

In all things give thanks, for it is the will of God for you, in Jesus Christ – 1Thesselonians 5:18
I am thankful because of what my experience this morning has taught me, and the reality I have come to terms with, that I am growing and having God in your life, always pays off in times of crisis. 

I wish I could go out to my office car park during my break time to realize that all this was a dream. But as I sit here writing this piece, I am calm, I am at peace, and above all, I am thankful to God for keeping me whole through it all. And, I thank God for the life of my late president, and the serenity this country is enjoying now.

…And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose – Romans 8:28

God is close to you… No matter what you go through today, God is close to you. Let this confidence be in you, today and always.

Peace… I’m out.