Hello Ma Dahlings!
Where did the weekend go? I didn't have enough rest at all this weekend. But I hope and pray to God that this week will be a wonderful one for me and for everyone as well.
The title of the present post has become very necessary because, a cousin of mine called me over the weekend and complained bitterly about something pertaining to her relationship, and my counselor level was at its peak.
Her question was "what do you do if your boyfriends ex is his best friend"? According to her anytime the guy is not with her, he is with his ex, he finds every excuse to be with her and even picks her up from work sometimes, claiming that either her ex's car developed a fault or she needed him to help her out with something.
Also, anytime she asks him what exactly is going on between them, he would answer that there's nothing going on between them, other than friendship, and then assures her of his love. What I asked her to do was to sit him down and have a deep mature chat with him about the situation; and if there is still no improvement about how much time he spends with her, then she should ask him to choose between she and his ex. Abi?
So I ask, what will you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend's ex becomes their best friends?
A lovely week is what I wish for You! And You!! And You!!!
Peace... I'm out
Sister Priscy, why this question nah? I dont even see several options here. Dr Phil would call it unfinished emotional business. There is no way it would work, at least for me. You CANNOT be with me have any close friendship with any of your exes. we are adults and we do need to be civil and courteous but I don't trust men ooo. Too difficult to control and I dont want to have to be suspicious all the time and I'm not even the jealous type at all. For me, every time I have entered a relationship it was with the intention of it being a serious long-term relationship leading to a even more serious committed. I never dated just to date since my eyes opened to adulthood lol. I have cut my exes from my daily life. Once in a while a message might pop up, a facebook happy bday wish, just me saying hi like twice or year or responding to a hi, how is life type of message, but never in my daily life. Too risky.
ReplyDeleteSorry... no way there! would he be comfortable with it if the roles were reversed? I don't think so. Why is it even an issue!!!
ReplyDeleteDitto Honeyadame, why is it even an issue, obviously they are still paying 'stop it, i like it' ..smh
ReplyDeleteI smiled when I read this post.
ReplyDeleteYour friend needs to ask herself why her boyfriend isn't rushing from work etc, to be with her. Instead, he has time on his hands to be doing favors for people.
Let's say she gives him the ultimatum and he chooses her over the ex. If that issue of him not rushing to come spend time with her is unresolved, he will have time on his hands and will still spend it elsewhere.
Yeah, something's definitely fishy about that lol. She needs to lay it all on the table and if he decides he doesn't want to act right, show him the door. I'm not even for the ultimatum because i truly don't think it should have to come to that. If he can't make the right decision based on their conversation then he's obviously not worth her time
ReplyDeletewhich kind nonsense friendship???.....it will not happen in the first place....as your girlfriend....i feel i should be THE bestfriend
ReplyDeleteFor one is who good friends with her ex, I say this relationship is fishy. As in all his available time is spent with an ex when he has someone else. this is some unfinished emotional business, they have to clear up sharp sharp.
ReplyDeleteHe is not been completely honest with his girlfriend. Like why would he want to spend every available time with his ex and not her. Not proper at all. They need to have a serious talk abeg.
ReplyDeleteI don't even think there's anything to talk about, they are called "exes" for a reason, his ex should be behind him but if he's still hanging out with her and doing stuffs couples do, picking her from work and what not, there's definitely something he's hiding and he's still into his ex. even my brother(dat i dnt have) would tell me to hop on a cab nd go home.
ReplyDeleteNo,no,no!!! I can't even allow that.It's easy for feelings to start flying and i wouldn't wanna lose someone to their ex.
ReplyDelete@Shereen, exactly. Girlfrnd=bestfriend jere. Time to choose sharply
ReplyDeleteMost women adopt the wrong approach when faced with this situation. Priscy, tell your friend to be nice to the girl and not say anything bad about the girl to her boyfriend. She should pretend that she does not know anything and even invite the girl home sometimes. Both her boyfriend and his ex will feel uncomfortable going on with any intimate relationship if any. Usually, this situation is as a result of circumstances beyond the control of both parties leading to the breakup. Just let him struggle with his conscience and don't give him the excuse to reunite with his ex.
ReplyDeleteabeg, theres no such thing as being bestfriends with your ex. its either ure over it or ure still in it. i think the guy still loves the ex
ReplyDeleteI really agree with Kobena's comment. My best friend is a guy and when he met his girlfriend. She started acting all 'chose btw me and your bestfriend' and that almost brought an end to their relationship, then the girl later got my number And started calling me, we became close friends too and she has still got her relationship going and now I understand her so I give them space in their relationship. Some relationships in life have been good and have run very deep, they. Are not that easy to end. So I think your cousin should show some trust and understanding especially if she really loves this guy.fighting things like this would only make them stronger
ReplyDeleteMadam, you haven't posted for a while which is kinda unlike you. I hope ur cool. Come back soon *hugs*
ReplyDeletethank you all so very much for the comments. sorry I haven't been able to reply any of them, been a little busy. i asked my cousin to read this post and the comments, am glad she's picked some advices from here. make God bless una for me o!
ReplyDelete