Tear Drops... But it's well, Pt2: A Look Into My Diary

Hello lovely People...

I trust everyone of you is doing exceptionally well... I took some days off from work to write my exams, I thank God for the mercies He showed me during my exams. Also, I would like to say a very BIG THANK YOU to all of you for the kind words and good wishes you shared with me on my birthday!! I truly appreciate... God bless your kind hearts for me abundantly.

I have chosen to continue writing on the above title, hence the part2. This semester hasn't been a rosy one for my class mates and I at all. We have had to deal with so much bad news in the past few weeks; and just when it looks like we are about getting over one, another would happen, almost in flowing and very worrisome successions... The first sad news we heard was about a class mate losing her baby due to overdue pregnancy. This news certainly broke me because I felt her pain and imagined how tough it was for her to go through such an experience... But in all, I thank God for the fact that she's healing... Gradually, but steadily.

Secondly, another class mate almost lost his life in the most bizarre way had it not been for the intervention of God. In fact, I still cannot bring myself to understand how a car which has been technically brought to a stop, can start moving by itself. Yea... that's what happened to him. He stopped his car and got down to open his gate, only for the car to start moving towards the gate, knocking him down and running over him in the process... I thank God he is doing very fine now and healing fast too.

The last incident that got all of us wailing was the demise of one of my class mates, a mother of two, ages 12 and 8. This one certainly broke our hearts. When I got the news on the 26th of June, I couldn't help but ask myself so many questions... In all however, I pray the Almighty God gives the family members the heart to bear the loss and also to protect and guide the kids through out their lives.

My prayer for all of us is that, even as we have entered into the second half of the year, may the almighty God guide our steps and protect us, all the days of our lives and take us to the end of this year, blameless and preserved... Both for all of us and our entire families. I speak life and I speak good health to all of us in Jesus name I pray, Amen!

Peace to you and yours... I'm out  

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

What else can I say to my maker? I am grateful, I am overwhelmed by your grace and mercy on me... I cannot thank You enough… I cannot praise You enough… All I can say is I thank You!

You are awesome, You are great. When I think of how far You have brought me, I always shed tears… Not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy. And it’s all because of You! I thank you and I thank you...

I remember when my mum died and I thought that was the end of the road for me. But you took me through to this point of my life, through experiences, through pain and through laughter.

I also remember when I gave birth to my son and the doctors diagnosed him of asthma… I remember me, running in and out of hospitals with him virtually every two weeks, because of incessant asthma attacks. I remember all those dreadful moments that I held my son in my arms, with the dreadful anxiety that I might loose him, because he had become so tiny and weak through his sickness and his breath was always almost gone. I remember how I cried to You one day and begged You to take that sickness away from him for me. I remember how after that prayer he never suffered any such attack again, from then up till now (2yrs and counting). I remember how although he has catarrh from time to time, it’s just a minor occurrence.

God I remember all that… I remember how You have always come through for me... And today, on the occasion of my birthday, I just want to say thank You again. I am grateful... I will always be.

To all you, my friends, who might read this note today. It is simply my small note to God. Today blogsville is church for me, and you all are the congregation. And I praise this God who has been good to me on this platform… I invite you to thank Him for me, because “He has done me well”… Yes He has.

Happy Birthday to me…

Peace… I’m out.

A Story That Will Touch Your Heart...

Hello Everyone!

I saw the write-up below somewhere, and I thought to myself,  this is the kind of information I must share, I loved the lessons I was touched  by and I hope it does the same to you also. Please enjoy...

One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision. He discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score. The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none". The director asked, “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees.” The director asked, “Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner.

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect. The director asked, “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me." The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son. The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time, next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, “Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?" The youth answered, “I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes.' The Director asked, “Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said,

•  I know now the meaning of APPRECIATION. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today.

•  By working together and helping my mother, only now have I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done- PERSEVERANCE

•  I have come to appreciate the importance and value of FAMILY RELATIONSHIP.

The director said, “This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son, you are hired.”

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

This indeed is a story about sacrifice. But I am at a loss as to how a parent can sacrifice so much, and end up producing someone who is unappreciative and inconsiderate. This young man had done so well in his short life, yet he had never taken time to consider, understand and appreciate the price paid  for the opportunities he had enjoyed so far. Even the poor can spoil their children; the rich can spoil their children; the hardworking can spoil their children. People with the best of intentions can spoil their children. So we must as a matter of legacy teach our children to be good, appreciative and considerate people... People who will never treat others less than what they are worth. Perseverance and Appreciation... they are standards which will guide us into sustainable relationships. Let them be a part of our lives, in such a way that they truly understand what it took to bring them up to the platform they ultimately will occupy in life. This my mother taught me, is the hallmark of humility, and the key to the kind of success which impacts the people around us.

Let's get on with it.

Peace... I'm out!

Teardrops... But it is Well

Greetings Blogville,

I trust everyone is doing very well. The rains are here again and for some reason, I am wishing they fell longer than they did this morning, so I would have had a good reason to stay at home today. Call me lazy, but na my mind I de talk so o! lol. I want to say a very big thank you to all of you who shared your views and thoughts on my last post, I must say my "avid reader" must have read and advised himself accordingly.

The events of the last 4 days in Ghana and Nigeria, have left us all so bewildered. Just while we were recovering here in Ghana, from the plane crash which left a lot of casualties dead, injured and in shock, on Saturday June 2, we stood face to face with an even worse situation in less than 24 hours later in Nigeria.

Much worse, is the painful reality that some of the people in that plane that crashed at Iju, Lagos (Nigeria), are people you know, or friends and relations of people you know. People you may have heard about and are looking forward to meeting. Yet, as we thank God in all things (as this is the will of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour – 1Thesselonians 5:18)

I cannot help but wonder whether or not this whole saga was avoidable. I wonder what lessons we have to learn. I think of how connected we all are, irrespective of our personal views and idiosyncrasies. I wonder what will happen to the children, wives, husbands and other family members whose lives have literally turned around, just by virtue of one event; one reckless decision, one fearful turn, one avoidable mistake, one… God help us all and keep our eyes stay on Him. And like the great words of hope which we declare with deepest faith, “This too shall pass”. I pray we all experience a deep sense of peace in God throughout this season.

May I submit to you all that, anytime you say a prayer, please remember to say one for your country and the entire world because the rate at which cannibalism is on the increase and strange things happening here and there, we can only hope and pray to God almighty that we will not be consumed. May the Lord Bless and keep us all save and sound now and forever more... Amen!

Peace... I'm out!

I got another question!

Hello my people!

*covers face in shame* I cant believe I haven't blogged in a month!! I am as surprised as you all are..wink! where do I even begin.... I got tagged in the elevens by Simply mee, Toinlicious, Amaka, BSNC, Sugar Spring, Efua Dentaa and a9jagreat, oh boy! I remember Toin told me I had about seventy something questions to answer! Can you believe that?!! well.... in due time, I will be giving what I have termed "my azonto seventy something answers" lol

I have got a question! Yes!!! I am back again with my questions!!! lol. An avid reader of my blog (as he called himself. lol) sent me a mail on something he said he wants to do and because he has read comments from great guys like you all and is pleased with most of the feedback's given, he will like to know your opinion on this issue. "Is polygamy a sin?" The following are the points he added, "What if the the man involved is head over heels in love with both ladies and they both accept to love him (and each other) and be loved by him (and each other)? Also, if it is not a sin and the scriptures do not forbid it, except (to the best of my knowledge) when a man desires to be a Bishop..., why do people frown at it and condemn the people in it? Further more, is it possible for marriages like that to succeed? And also, does the bible forbid it?"

I think this is quite a sensitive issue if you ask me because, sincerely, right from my childhood days till now, there has always been a "beef" about polygamy in the church and our work places yet, no one has really come out to say this or that is the reason why it is frowned upon. So my thought therefore is that,  even though it is "claimed" and argued, that there is so much competition in such homes which end up with fights, hatred and the rest, there are so many one man-one wife marriages which have much worse problems, which even end up in divorce.

I would like to recommend that we should say things higher than the obvious "why or what will make a woman want to share her man with another woman, and shouldn't she be afraid that this might make the man go in for yet another woman much later? Also, I would like us to avoid the competitive school of thought of "why would another woman want to share another person's "husband" when she can have her own?" Do all polygamous marriages fail? If you had a friend in it, what would your candid advice be? Is it wrong, is it a taboo, a risk or a sin? Can such a relationship work? Can a successful marriage and a successful family unit be achieved in that kind of environment? How will society see them? Is it not better than having a promiscuous, extra-marital affair?

Also I would also like for us to resist the urge of asking a question like what will even make a man desire to marry another wife besides his wife?  Could it be vanity or could there be an honourable reason? Can one find true love in such a place? (polygamous marriage/home). Okay, let me ask you my reader, in case you are faced with a situation where you find yourself in love with such a man whose wife has also accepted it as alright (or permissible) for the husband to marry another woman in addition to her would you agree to marry him, and why?

I have had this mail lying in my inbox for a while now, and didn't know where or how to go about it. I hope you all can help him make a very informed decision.

Thanks for reading and the comments in advance...

Before I forget, I have made some changes on the blog, do you like it? please let me know your thoughts on the changes as well ( I guess you guys will have a lot to answer) lol. I promise though that, I am answering all the questions that have been asked me in the elevens game, and will soon drop them in my next post.

Peace... I'm out!

A strong woman

Hello everybody!

My weekend wasn't bad at all, and I trust you all had a good time too. Yesterday, I got thinking... I was doing a lot of soul searching and I came out with this piece and for that matter, the title above. Hope you enjoy it.

A strong woman believes in herself, her dreams and her abilities. A strong woman believes that despite the setbacks, heartbreaks, disappointments and failings of her life, she's on a journey and that although she might break down along the way and cry her heart out, she will wipe the tears in her eyes and keep moving.

A strong woman believes that, until she gets to where she is going, she's not giving up on her dreams or giving in to her challenges, she is not throwing in the towels, she's not going to let the storms of life get her drowning, she will not stay in the durst, but rather, she will get up, shake it off and keep moving forward. 

A strong woman believes that, until she gets what she has set out to achieve, she's not letting go... Her zeal is consistently alive, her passion is resolute and her focus is one. You cannot distract a strong woman into dropping her pursuit when she believes she is on the right path. She has her pride to preserve, and she will never give up on a testimony worth telling. A strong woman knows the difference between bait and favour, and will never mistake the two no matter what she has to go through... And between love and the pleasure that endures only for a season, a strong woman will always choose love, even if it costs her everything she owns and stands for.

I believe I am a strong woman and I believe you all (my ladies on this platform) are too. So just in case you feel all is lost, remember God is with you and He will see you through it all; thick or thin. To all the strong women of blogville, I believe in you all and I know we will get there by God's grace.

In other matters, my blog turned a year old this April and I must admit that you all, and that includes my followers and everybody who has dropped any form of comment on this blog, have made my stay here very wonderful and worthwhile.

A family is not necessarily those whose blood you share, but those you love and also those who love you back. You! My blog friends are my family and I love you all as such. Thank you for loving me too. Best wishes, to you and yours.

Peace... I'm out!

Things that make you go Hmm!!!

Hi everyone! 

The weekend is finally here... Hurayyy! Okay, I got the story below from Joyfm's facebook page. After reading to the end, I couldn't help but get pissed at the players in the story. Please read on  (with small editing to help you relate more with the events discussed) and share your thoughts.

"Dear Bola, I went into marriage with a 4 year old daughter. My husband doesn’t have any problem with my daughter but he doesn’t love her. Let me just put it bluntly. He doesn’t have any form relations with her. He doesn’t care what I do with her or what happens to her. We simply don’t talk about her. I had her while I was in school and I honestly do not know the whereabouts of her father. I am gainfully employed so I really I’m not bothered. 

Growing up has been very difficult for her because she had to call my husband uncle because if he is daddy, then she must expect a lot from him. I have two other children with my husband so you can understand this little girl’s challenge. Bola, she is 16 years now and in SHS2. She is quite a smart and an intelligent girl. She told me recently that, she wants to move out of the house. She wants me to rent a place for her. Her reasons are that, she knows my husband doesn’t like her and she thinks she can take care of herself. This hit me so hard. 

She is always either out of the house or locked up in her bedroom. The relationship between she and her siblings is also dwindling. You could tell that she is very embittered. Last week, my husband came back from town with a bag full of clothes for my daughter. She took them and just walked away. I followed her into her room to scold her and she stopped me right there and walked out of the house. 

Fear gripped me so I asked my husband what all that was about and then he told me that, he just feels he has been very unfair to her and wanted to start bridging the gap. I could not but hug him in gratitude that finally, the nightmare in my home was over. He even told me that, she will come around and he apologized  to me for his unfair treatment towards the girl. Rather surprisingly, my daughter’s attitude worsened and she insists she wants to move out of the house. She won’t say why and I just kept assuming it’s the same old problem. I asked an anonymous person to meet up with her, befriend her and talk to her for me and there she blew everything open. 

My husband has been making sexual advances at her and has threatened to throw her out if she doesn’t compromise. He says he has never seen her as a daughter because he loves her and has just been waiting for her to grow up. Bola, I have died a thousand times over. How mean could he be? People have told me how they see him with young girls in very compromising situations but because he is a fashion designer, I dismiss it saying he could be working with them. I’m just realizing how naive I have been all these years. I have spoken to my daughter to keep calm whiles I find a solution to the problem. 

She understands me. This is my first point of call. I have too much running through my head. After 12 years of marriage... Bola I have my children to think about, my marriage, society, my daughter’s well being and a whole lot… I need advice. However, I am thinking of letting my daughter report him to the police... I would want the police to pick him up for interrogation, give him a strong warning and get him to write an undertaking to be of good behavior. Bola, in this day and age of defilement and rape, if he continues and he is arrested, this will spell doom for my family, social life and career".

What will be your advice to this lady? I said initially that I wasn't very enthused with lady's hastiness in  going ahead to marry the man without paying attention to the kind of relationship he would have or is prepared to have with her daughter. Being a single parent, man or woman, is a sensitive situation, and I think she shouldn't have gone ahead with the marriage in the first place knowing that, the then husband to be wasn't too comfortable with her daughter, until she was able to resolve the way forward for the 2 parties. This should go for every single parent about to get married. Watch out for danger signals which show that the person who you are getting married to is not too cool with your child, then please advice yourself appropriately.

In this case however, since she is already married to him with kids, I think the best thing for her to do is to talk to their pastor or a trusted person so they can talk to the man and make him accountable, or, let the daughter go stay with a trusted relative of her's; but she must make sure that, she stay's in constant touch with her all the time. What do you think?    

What could be wrong with Larry (the lady's husband)? Taking it beyond Erica’s story (the lady involved) I want to ask, what makes men desire young girls and even their children or relatives? What makes women want to sleep with young men, and little boys related to them and their friends? Why is Child Sexual Abuse becoming a rampant phenomenon in our society? Let's hear it dearies, as always...

Peace... I'm out!

Family is very important pt1

Hello wonderful people!

How you all doing? I trust each and everyone of us is doing very well by the abundant grace of God Almighty.

I have made a few observations about the importance of the family and I will like to share it right here. 

I remember when my mum died, we were all shattered, my siblings, myself and the entire family. Time they say heals all wounds. I believe that to some extent the eight years time frame has been able to help us heal.

I mean, I had to heal from bitterness, hatred and learn to forgive. My elder brother on the other had to learn to heal from the guilt he had always lived with thinking the accident that led to my mum's death could have been avoided had he been a little more careful. We might not always be friends but we must be family, everyone comes out of one and walks into experience from one everyday.

One thing is sure and that is, love can never be found where it does not exist and love can never be hidden where it abounds. The bible says.....two cannot walk together unless they agree (Amos3:3).  The bible also says that two are better than one but a three fold cord cannot be broken. Ecc4:12

Unity, is a wonderful thing. As far as the family is concerned, it is the strongest and most lethal weapon that God created. Even God recognizes that where there is unity, there is nothing that cannot be achieved. So let us all refuse to to be the reason why our families will break up; refuse to sit idle and watch your family disintegrate. Make up your mind, be an agent of love and unity in your family. Whether as a spouse, a parent, a child or a sibling. 

Be a battle axe in God's hand for the purpose of the unity of your family. No matter what happens, you must say We shall not break up! We shall not break down!! We shall break through!!! I have said concerning  mine. you should seriously say it concerning yours too... Amen

Peace... I'm out