Tuesday 22 November 2011

Help Please!!!

Hello my people!
I apologise for being MIA for so long. Abeg make una forgive moi you hear! (By the way I am working on a post which will contain English, French and Naija pidgin all in one-So I'm practicing with the opening lines of this post...lol. Maybe we should all try this. What do you think?). Na my mid-semester exam dey worry me anyhow like say tomorrow no dey. Trust you are all doing great by the grace of Dieu, oui?
I extracted this story from Chioma Toplis (Nollywood actress) page on FB and as always, I'm sharing it on this platform (with a few additions of mine) with the hope that you will share your thoughts and help folks out there deal with really deep life's issues.  
"My name is Sarah, I am a 29 year old girl from Orlu in Imo state. I have been dating a guy for 3 years now. He lost his job before we met and started dating and for this matter, he has been living off me all this while.
Our love was so strong that we were the talk and envy of many who never knew I was the one spending all the money. l have a fixed job while he doesn't, and sometime last year, we both agreed to purchase a car through a mortgage which the company I work with paid for on the arrangement that they will be deducting a certain amount of money from my salary monthly. 
He suggested that we use his name as the official owner of the car which I didn't object to because we were working towards our marriage and since we were going to be married, what was there to have reservations about? Or so I thought.
Three months ago, he proposed for us to conclude wedding arrangements, but I had to decline because I wanted him to get a job first. Also, there was a secret I had been keeping from him for all these years, so I had to confess to him that I had a baby girl when I was in secondary school and that my child has been living with my mother in my hometown. 
Before I could finish sharing this information with him, he got up and shouted at me saying "why didn't tell him all this while?" He walked out on me angrily and has been behaving funny ever since; he won't pick my calls and he has stopped coming to church and anywhere he is certain to meet me. It is so bad now, to the extent that when I go to his house, he refuses to answer the door when I knock, acting like he is not at home, even though I know perfectly well that he is in. 
At this point, I read the hand writing on the wall, that he has walked out of the relationship. It's been three months since we broke up and it feels like I have lost a major project that I invested every other thing which I have laboured for. I have been paying for a car that I no longer enjoy.
Please what do I do? Do I take my car back? I am so confused. Please help!
After reading this, all sort of ideas came running through my little worried head. But I want to know what you think first, I will be back to tell you guys a story.
Peace... I'm out.


  1. First of, she was harboring that kind of secret yet she allowed the car to be in his name. She must have been super confident that he would stick with her, regardless of her having kept that secret!
    Anyway...I will say for her to go get her car, but the question is how because she don fall mugu already. Even if she takes him to court, i don't think the case will be upheld....the car is in his name and she wasn't under duress when she agreed!

    she should make an attempt to get her car back. If she can't, she should count her loss(es) and move on with several lessons and experience in her belt....shikena!

    I bin dey see you o madam! good luck for that your exam...we go dey meet for area...:*

  2. I think HoneyDame has spoken my mind. In another sense, maybe the guy needs time to come to terms with the news? The lady shouldn't do anything rash for now.

  3. Firsy good luck on the exam!

    As for the story- wow. So many better ways to have handled this situation but as they say hindsight is 20/20!

    For one thing, if she really wants to be with this guy i think she needs to go talk to him and try and work it out. If she knows his family, have someone try and intervene on her behalf. If all she wants is the car back, she can try taking the matter to court but it was her choice to put it in his name afterall.

  4. pRease, how you go fit love person and keep this kind heavy secret from him...adzen?!

    i always have a problem with women taking care of men they arent married to...i don't know...i've just seen to many guys take advantage of them...but anyways...

    how dare you(the girl) you think that a guy, anyone for that matter will stick around after releasing such a heavy load on them....i do think the guy is acting the right way...who knows what other lies this chick has....but i also do believe in forgiveness...but the girl need to squirm a little...haba!!

    and as for the car....stop making payments...it will get repo'd...unless she is letting him use it while she pays as a way to get him back...which is stupid as well

    ah well...goodluck with your exam madam

  5. I read this post in the student library and was almost kicking myself for the lady. Get the car back right away, no more payments for anything and involve the police if he tries to threaten you.

    Wishing you the best on your exams!

  6. ehn ehn ehn if i hear-am.abeg abeg abeg she should go and collect her car which kind of rough play is that.

    yes she shouldn't have kept that kind of secret from him but if he really loved her like he most have told her then he would have forgiven her mistake and talked things through with her.as long as am concerned he knew he never was going to stay or marry her all he did was for show,he knew she was going to make a mistake and his found his way so his out.

    hope she has learnt her lesson.next time she should think wisely.

  7. The guy has not been working but is he serious looking for a job?

    If yes then
    1.She made the right decision by waiting for him to get a job first before marriage.
    2.She should give the guy some time to get over the news.
    3. Since they attend the same church, she can use the church leaders to talk to him about the issue.
    4. If he finally agrees, she should be sure that he is ok with her child too before committing herself to the marriage.
    5.If all persuasion fail after a year, she can suggest to the guy about wanting the car back. If he refuses, then he is just an opportunist and doesn't qualify to be a husband. In fact i expect him to release it without her asking. But for him to have made the request to use his name in registering the vehicle in the first place, i believe strongly he had a concealed motive.

    If no,
    she should forget about the guy because life after the marriage will be replete with problems.

  8. I marvel at girls that are the financiers in a relationship when she is not married to the guy. Oh well, maybe he was in the process of getting a job. Abeg, what was she thinking when the car was bought in his name. Now, that was a grave mistake, cos getting it back might be difficult. Yeah, she should have told the guy about her child as soon as they got serious with each other, but if the guy really loves her, he might have a change of heart. I guess he is just really hurt that she didn't trust him with that very important part of her life. He needs time to think through what she told him. God's grace in your exams.

  9. what exactly is confusing here? she should take her care back biko.lol

  10. make she go collect her car. shikena!!!!
    which kind super story be that one?

  11. She should go get her CAR back first and why should she buy a car in her boyfriends name ?? that ain`t love..lol Real men ain`t scared of accessories :)

  12. All the best with your Exams too :)

  13. Hey u! hows exams going? all the best and c you (or read you) soon